While TV and movies have shown us all the importance of evidence in criminal trials, it can be equally important in divorce and child custody issues. The most commonly used evidence in family law includes:
Financial Statements (bank records and credit card statements)
Statements Regarding Value of Assets and Amounts of Debt (mortgage statements, retirement plan statements, etc)
Expenses (extracurricular activities, medical expenses)
Communications (text and emails)
While most of the above will be available from financial institutions, your company HR, or a child’s doctor upon request, text messages and emails are entirely up to you to preserve. The best way to handle this is very simple.
Never. Delete. Anything.
You should never delete any communications between yourself and your ex, regardless of the topic, how inconsequential it may seem, or how it makes you look. If you have your phone set to auto-delete texts periodically, you should immediately change it. Most email providers now provide sufficient space that deleting should never be required. You can archive messages so they don’t appear in your inbox, but will remain available to you. If you communicate via social media or DMs, keep those as well.
There are three main reasons to keep everything:
1) The impact of a statement made by either party is substantially stronger if you can present evidence of the party stating something in their own words, rather than your own recollection of something they said after the fact.
2) You should always communicate with your ex with the belief that your words may be shown to a judge in the future. Keeping all of your messages, and considering them as “potential evidence” can help you to rephrase or refrain from sending messages that will be unnecessarily inflammatory or hostile.
3) Just because you deleted something doesn’t mean they did. If you don’t provide requested information, it can look like you’re attempting to hide it. Additionally, if your attorney doesn’t know the content of the communication, we can’t prepare for it as well as we otherwise could.
If you have any questions about what you should and shouldn’t keep, feel free to call for advice - but I can tell you now - when in doubt, keep it!